{"id":29,"date":"2025-05-03T20:56:38","date_gmt":"2025-05-03T17:56:38","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/?p=29"},"modified":"2025-05-03T20:56:44","modified_gmt":"2025-05-03T17:56:44","slug":"cocugum-icin-en-iyisini-yapiyorum-saniyorsan-dur-ve-oku","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/03\/cocugum-icin-en-iyisini-yapiyorum-saniyorsan-dur-ve-oku\/","title":{"rendered":"\u00c7ocu\u011fum \u0130\u00e7in En \u0130yisini Yap\u0131yorum\u201d San\u0131yorsan, Dur ve Oku"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c\u00c7ocuk \u0130\u00e7in En \u0130yisi\u201d Derken Ne Yap\u0131yoruz?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Psk. Yusuf Erol<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Ebeveynlikle ilgili konu\u015furken \u00e7o\u011fumuzun diline dolad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir c\u00fcmle var:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201c\u00c7ocu\u011fum i\u00e7in en iyisini istiyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u0130yi de\u2026 ger\u00e7ekten en iyisini mi yap\u0131yoruz?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bu yaz\u0131, kendine d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan bakmaya haz\u0131r ebeveynler i\u00e7in. K\u0131r\u0131labilir, k\u0131zabilirsiniz. Ama devam ederseniz belki baz\u0131 zincirleri k\u0131rmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Niyet G\u00fczel Ama Y\u00f6ntem?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Anne-babal\u0131\u011f\u0131n en yan\u0131lt\u0131c\u0131 taraf\u0131, sevginin yeterli san\u0131lmas\u0131d\u0131r. \u201cBen \u00e7ocu\u011fumu \u00e7ok seviyorum\u201d c\u00fcmlesi, k\u00f6t\u00fc davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 bile me\u015frula\u015ft\u0131rmak i\u00e7in kullan\u0131l\u0131yor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u00c7ocu\u011funu sevdi\u011fi i\u00e7in s\u00fcrekli \u00f6d\u00fcl veren ama s\u0131n\u0131r koymaktan ka\u00e7\u0131nan ebeveyn\u2026<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cK\u0131yam\u0131yorum\u201d deyip hi\u00e7bir sorumluluk vermeyen, sonra da ergenlikte isyan eden \u00e7ocuk kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u015fa\u015f\u0131ran ebeveyn\u2026<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 olsun diye bask\u0131layan ama duygusal ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rmeyen ebeveyn\u2026<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bunlar\u0131n hi\u00e7biri sevgisizlikten de\u011fil. Ama hepsi sa\u011fl\u0131ks\u0131z. Sevgi, \u00e7ocu\u011fun ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 g\u00f6rebilme becerisidir. Duygusal, fiziksel ve psikolojik olarak neye ihtiyac\u0131 oldu\u011funu anlamadan verilen her \u015fey, \u00e7ocu\u011fun geli\u015fimine de\u011fil, sizin vicdan\u0131n\u0131za hizmet eder.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>\u201cBen B\u00f6yle B\u00fcy\u00fcd\u00fcm, Bir \u015eey Olmad\u0131\u201d Diyorsan\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Oldu. Bir \u015fey oldu.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc o \u201cbir \u015fey olmad\u0131\u201d dedi\u011finiz \u00e7ocukluk, bug\u00fcn sizin sab\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131zda, \u00f6fke patlamalar\u0131n\u0131zda, onay alma ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131zda, t\u00fckenmi\u015fli\u011finizde kendini g\u00f6steriyor.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ve fark etmeden ayn\u0131 d\u00f6ng\u00fcy\u00fc \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131za aktar\u0131yorsunuz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Tutumlar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n G\u00f6lgesi<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ebeveyn tutumu dedi\u011fimiz \u015fey, sadece nas\u0131l davrand\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z de\u011fil, hangi g\u00f6zle bakt\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z, neye \u00f6nem verdi\u011finiz ve \u00e7ocu\u011fa ne hissettirdi\u011finizdir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Baz\u0131 \u00f6rnekler:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Kontrolc\u00fc ebeveyn: \u00c7ocu\u011funu \u201c\u015fekillendirmeye\u201d \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r. \u201cOnu en iyi ben tan\u0131r\u0131m\u201d der ama asl\u0131nda kendi ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k korkusunu bast\u0131rmaktad\u0131r.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A\u015f\u0131r\u0131 fedak\u00e2r ebeveyn: \u00c7ocu\u011fu i\u00e7in ya\u015far ama bu, \u00e7ocu\u011fun de\u011fil ebeveynin ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131lar. \u00c7ocuk su\u00e7lulukla b\u00fcy\u00fcr.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>A\u015fa\u011f\u0131lay\u0131c\u0131 ebeveyn: \u201cBen senin iyili\u011fin i\u00e7in s\u00f6yl\u00fcyorum\u201d diyerek \u00e7ocu\u011fun \u00f6zg\u00fcvenini sistematik bi\u00e7imde y\u0131kar.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Duygusal olarak ula\u015f\u0131lmaz ebeveyn: Yan\u0131ndad\u0131r ama yoktur. Telefonundad\u0131r, i\u015findedir. \u00c7ocuk \u201cg\u00f6r\u00fcnmez\u201d hisseder.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her bir tutumun \u00e7ocu\u011fa etkisi sadece bug\u00fcn\u00fc de\u011fil, ileride kuraca\u011f\u0131 ili\u015fkileri, se\u00e7ece\u011fi i\u015fi, ya\u015fayaca\u011f\u0131 duygular\u0131 da etkiler.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Ger\u00e7eklerle Y\u00fczle\u015fmek<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u015eimdi baz\u0131 ac\u0131 sorular:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>\u00c7ocu\u011funuza s\u0131n\u0131r koymakta zorlan\u0131yor musunuz? Peki bu, onun de\u011fil sizin onaylanma ihtiyac\u0131n\u0131z olabilir mi?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u201cK\u0131z\u0131nca g\u00f6z\u00fcm d\u00f6n\u00fcyor\u201d diyor musunuz? O zaman kendi duygular\u0131n\u0131zla ba\u015f edemedi\u011finizi fark ettiniz mi?<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>\u00c7ocu\u011funuzun ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131yla \u00f6v\u00fcn\u00fcyor ama ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131klar\u0131nda hemen ele\u015ftiriyor musunuz? Peki \u00e7ocu\u011funuz sizi sevgiye lay\u0131k olmak i\u00e7in performans g\u00f6stermeye mi \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yor?<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bu sorular zor. Ama y\u00fczle\u015fmeden ilerleme olmaz.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 Tutum Nas\u0131l Olur?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">M\u00fckemmel ebeveynlik diye bir \u015fey yok. Ama fark\u0131nda olmak ve de\u011fi\u015ftirmek m\u00fcmk\u00fcn. \u0130\u015fte baz\u0131 sa\u011flam ad\u0131mlar:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>S\u0131n\u0131r koyun, a\u00e7\u0131klay\u0131n. Disiplin, ceza de\u011fil y\u00f6nlendirmedir. \u201cSeni seviyorum ama bu davran\u0131\u015f uygun de\u011fil\u201d demek \u00e7ocu\u011fa g\u00fcven verir.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Duygular\u0131na yer a\u00e7\u0131n. \u00c7ocuk a\u011flad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda hemen susturmay\u0131n. A\u011flamak k\u00f6t\u00fc de\u011fil. \u201c\u015eu an \u00fcz\u00fcld\u00fcn, fark\u0131nday\u0131m\u201d c\u00fcmlesi bir \u00e7ocu\u011fun d\u00fcnyas\u0131n\u0131 de\u011fi\u015ftirir.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Model olun. Onlara ne s\u00f6yledi\u011finizden \u00e7ok, nas\u0131l ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z belirleyici. Sayg\u0131 g\u00f6rmek istiyorsan\u0131z, sayg\u0131 g\u00f6sterin.<\/li>\n\n\n\n<li>Kendi \u00e7ocuklu\u011funuza bak\u0131n. Ebeveynli\u011finizin yar\u0131s\u0131, kendi anne-baban\u0131zdan kalan mirast\u0131r. Sorgulamad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z s\u00fcrece, aktar\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Son S\u00f6z: Ebeveynlik Geli\u015ftirilebilir Bir Y\u00f6neticiliktir<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u00c7ocuklar bizim uzant\u0131m\u0131z de\u011fil. Onlar ayr\u0131 bireyler. Onlara kar\u015f\u0131 en temel sorumlulu\u011fumuz, kendi i\u00e7 karanl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zla y\u00fczle\u015fip, onlara bunu miras b\u0131rakmamakt\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">E\u011fer bu yaz\u0131 sizi biraz rahats\u0131z ettiyse, iyi. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm rahats\u0131zl\u0131kla ba\u015flar. K\u0131r\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131z yerde b\u00fcy\u00fcrs\u00fcn\u00fcz. Ve \u00e7ocuklar\u0131n\u0131z da sizinle birlikte\u2026<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201c\u00c7ocuk \u0130\u00e7in En \u0130yisi\u201d Derken Ne Yap\u0131yoruz? Psk. Yusuf Erol Ebeveynlikle ilgili konu\u015furken \u00e7o\u011fumuzun diline dolad\u0131\u011f\u0131 bir c\u00fcmle var: \u201c\u00c7ocu\u011fum i\u00e7in en iyisini istiyorum.\u201d \u0130yi de\u2026 ger\u00e7ekten en iyisini mi yap\u0131yoruz? Bu yaz\u0131, kendine d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan bakmaya haz\u0131r ebeveynler i\u00e7in. K\u0131r\u0131labilir, k\u0131zabilirsiniz. Ama devam ederseniz belki baz\u0131 zincirleri k\u0131rmak m\u00fcmk\u00fcn olur. Niyet G\u00fczel Ama Y\u00f6ntem? Anne-babal\u0131\u011f\u0131n [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":31,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-29","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-genel","czr-hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=29"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":30,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/29\/revisions\/30"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/31"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=29"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=29"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=29"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}