{"id":21,"date":"2025-05-02T21:18:45","date_gmt":"2025-05-02T18:18:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/?p=21"},"modified":"2025-05-02T21:39:17","modified_gmt":"2025-05-02T18:39:17","slug":"bagirmak-istemiyorum-ama-dayanamiyorum-ebeveyn-tukenmisligi-uzerine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/2025\/05\/02\/bagirmak-istemiyorum-ama-dayanamiyorum-ebeveyn-tukenmisligi-uzerine\/","title":{"rendered":"Ba\u011f\u0131rmak \u0130stemiyorum Ama Dayanam\u0131yorum: Ebeveyn T\u00fckenmi\u015fli\u011fi \u00dczerine"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cBug\u00fcn yine ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bu c\u00fcmleyle ka\u00e7 kez g\u00fcne veda ettin? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Belki gecenin bir saatinde sessizce mutfa\u011fa ge\u00e7tin. Belki \u00e7ocuk odas\u0131nda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yast\u0131\u011fa koyarken g\u00f6zlerin doldu. \u201cBen b\u00f6yle biri olmak istemiyorum\u201d dedin. \u201cAma neden yine b\u00f6yle oldu?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bu yaz\u0131 tam da bu i\u00e7 konu\u015fmay\u0131 yapan, vicdan\u0131 sesi bast\u0131ran her anne-baba i\u00e7in yaz\u0131ld\u0131.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>O Anlar Hi\u00e7 de Nadiren Ya\u015fanm\u0131yor<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ebeveynlik, \u00e7o\u011fu zaman d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan romantik bir tablo gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr. Sosyal medyada \u00e7ocuklu evler \u0131\u015f\u0131l \u0131\u015f\u0131ld\u0131r. Evler derli topludur, \u00e7ocuklar boyama yaparken anne kahvesini i\u00e7er. Herkes birbirine g\u00fcl\u00fcmser.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ger\u00e7ekte ise\u2026<br>Sabah be\u015fte uyanan bir \u00e7ocuk, g\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc a\u00e7ar a\u00e7maz bir \u015fey isteyen bir ses, ayn\u0131 anda kahvalt\u0131 haz\u0131rlamak, i\u015fe yeti\u015fmek, evi toparlamak, duygular\u0131 y\u00f6netmek\u2026<br>Ve t\u00fcm bunlar\u0131n aras\u0131nda, kendi ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli erteleyen bir anne ya da baba.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yorgunluk, uykusuzluk, s\u00fcrekli tetikte olma hali\u2026 Bir de bunlara su\u00e7luluk ekleniyor. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u201cebeveynlik b\u00f6yle yap\u0131lmaz\u201d diye \u00f6\u011frendik. Hep sab\u0131rl\u0131 olunmal\u0131yd\u0131. Hep anlay\u0131\u015fl\u0131.<br>Ama kimse sana \u201csenin de bir s\u0131n\u0131r\u0131n var\u201d demedi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>T\u00fckenmi\u015flik Nedir?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ebeveyn t\u00fckenmi\u015fli\u011fi, s\u00fcrekli olarak fiziksel, zihinsel ve duygusal olarak zorlanman\u0131n sonucunda olu\u015fur.<br>Yani sadece yorgunluk de\u011fil; bitkinlik, duygusal mesafe, su\u00e7luluk, \u00f6fke ve bazen de kopma hissi.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">T\u00fckenmi\u015f ebeveynler:<br>\u2022 \u00c7ocuklar\u0131na kar\u015f\u0131 sab\u0131rs\u0131zd\u0131r ama asl\u0131nda bu sab\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131k \u00e7ocukla ilgili de\u011fildir.<br>\u2022 Keyif almalar\u0131 gereken anlarda bile g\u00f6rev duygusuyla hareket eder.<br>\u2022 Kendilerini yetersiz hisseder ama d\u0131\u015far\u0131dan hep \u201ciyi ebeveyn\u201d gibi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ve en ac\u0131 taraf\u0131: \u00e7o\u011fu zaman bu duygular dile getirilmez. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc konu\u015fuldu\u011funda \u201c\u015fik\u00e2yet ediyor\u201d gibi alg\u0131lan\u0131r. Ya da \u201cherkes ayn\u0131 durumda\u201d diyerek k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsenir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ama ger\u00e7ek \u015fu: Herkes ayn\u0131 durumda de\u011fil. Herkes ayn\u0131 e\u015fi\u011fi ta\u015f\u0131yamaz. Ve bu \u00e7ok normal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Bu Ya\u015f Aral\u0131\u011f\u0131 Neden Bu Kadar Zor?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">2-6 ya\u015f aras\u0131 \u00e7ocuklar, geli\u015fimin en yo\u011fun oldu\u011fu d\u00f6nemlerdedir.<br>Bu ya\u015f grubundaki \u00e7ocuklar:<br>\u2022 S\u00fcrekli ke\u015ffeder.<br>\u2022 S\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131 test eder.<br>\u2022 Ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131zla\u015fmak ister ama h\u00e2l\u00e2 g\u00fcvenli kuca\u011fa ihtiya\u00e7 duyar.<br>\u2022 Duygular\u0131n\u0131 hen\u00fcz y\u00f6netemez.<br>\u2022 S\u00fcrekli ebeveynin dikkatine ihtiya\u00e7 duyar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Yani \u00e7ocuk kendi geli\u015fiminde \u00e7ok do\u011fru \u015feyler yapar, ama bu do\u011frular ebeveynin kaynaklar\u0131n\u0131 t\u00fcketir. Bu yorgunluk birikir. Ve bazen \u00f6yle bir yere gelir ki, ufac\u0131k bir tetikleyici b\u00fcy\u00fck bir patlamaya neden olabilir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Peki Bu Durumu Nas\u0131l Hafifletebiliriz?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>M\u00fckemmellik Mitini B\u0131rak:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"has-medium-font-size wp-block-paragraph\">Sosyal medya ya da d\u0131\u015f \u00e7evre, idealize bir ebeveyn profili sunar: sab\u0131rl\u0131, anlay\u0131\u015fl\u0131, yarat\u0131c\u0131, her zaman g\u00fcler y\u00fczl\u00fc.<br>Ama unutma, \u00e7ocu\u011funun ihtiyac\u0131 olan \u015fey m\u00fckemmel bir ebeveyn de\u011fil, duygusal olarak ula\u015f\u0131labilir bir ebeveyn.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"2\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Duygular\u0131n\u0131 Bast\u0131rma, Tan\u0131:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cSinirliyim, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131m\u0131 a\u015ft\u0131lar\u201d diyebilmek; ba\u011f\u0131rmaktan \u00e7ok daha sa\u011fl\u0131kl\u0131 bir tepkidir.<br>Kendine \u015funu sormay\u0131 al\u0131\u015fkanl\u0131k edin:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">\u201cGer\u00e7ekten bu duruma m\u0131 sinirlendim, yoksa t\u00fcm g\u00fcn biriken yorgunluk burada m\u0131 ta\u015ft\u0131?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"3\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>G\u00fcn \u0130\u00e7inde K\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck Nefes Alanlar\u0131 Yarat:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Her \u015fey \u00e7ocukla ilgili olmak zorunda de\u011fil.<br>\u2022 10 dakikal\u0131k sessizlik<br>\u2022 Banyoda yaln\u0131z kalmak<br>\u2022 Telefonu sessize almak<br>\u2022 Camdan bak\u0131p hi\u00e7bir \u015fey yapmamak bile\u2026<br>Bunlar l\u00fcks de\u011fil, hayatta kalma stratejisidir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ol start=\"4\" class=\"wp-block-list\">\n<li>Destek \u0130stemek Cesarettir:<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Bazen e\u015ften, bazen aileden, bazen bir uzmandan destek istemek\u2026<br>\u201cTek ba\u015f\u0131ma ta\u015f\u0131yam\u0131yorum\u201d diyebilmek b\u00fcy\u00fck bir i\u00e7g\u00f6r\u00fc ve cesaret ister. Ve bu seni zay\u0131f de\u011fil, kendine ve \u00e7ocu\u011funa kar\u015f\u0131 sorumlu biri yapar.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Ne Zaman Uzmana Ba\u015fvurmal\u0131s\u0131n?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A\u015fa\u011f\u0131daki durumlar senin i\u00e7in tan\u0131d\u0131k geliyorsa bir uzmana ba\u015fvurmak, hem kendine hem \u00e7ocu\u011funa yapaca\u011f\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck bir iyiliktir:<br>\u2022 S\u00fcrekli \u00f6fke patlamalar\u0131<br>\u2022 Keyif almama, anlams\u0131zl\u0131k hissi<br>\u2022 A\u011flama n\u00f6betleri<br>\u2022 \u00c7ocu\u011fa zarar verme d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnceleri<br>\u2022 Kendini su\u00e7lama ve de\u011fersizlik hisleri<br>\u2022 Giderek artan sab\u0131rs\u0131zl\u0131k ve tahamm\u00fcls\u00fczl\u00fck<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Unutma, yard\u0131m istemek bir zay\u0131fl\u0131k de\u011fil, iyile\u015fmeye at\u0131lan ilk ad\u0131md\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Son S\u00f6z: Yaln\u0131z De\u011filsin. K\u00f6t\u00fc De\u011filsin. Sadece \u00c7ok Yoruldun.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ebeveynlik, sadece \u00e7ocuk b\u00fcy\u00fctmek de\u011fildir. Ayn\u0131 zamanda kendini yeniden tan\u0131mak, s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 ke\u015ffetmek ve kendi \u00e7ocuklu\u011funla y\u00fczle\u015fmek demektir.<br>Bu yol bazen sert, bazen yaln\u0131z, bazen de \u00e7ok yorucudur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ama her anne-baba bu yolda ba\u011f\u0131rm\u0131\u015ft\u0131r. Sonra pi\u015fman olmu\u015ftur. Sonra yeniden denemi\u015ftir.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Ve bu da geli\u015fimin bir par\u00e7as\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Kendine biraz \u015fefkat g\u00f6ster. \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc \u00e7ocu\u011funa g\u00f6sterdi\u011fin anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131, \u00f6nce kendine bor\u00e7lusun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u201cBug\u00fcn yine ba\u011f\u0131rd\u0131m.\u201d Bu c\u00fcmleyle ka\u00e7 kez g\u00fcne veda ettin? Belki gecenin bir saatinde sessizce mutfa\u011fa ge\u00e7tin. Belki \u00e7ocuk odas\u0131nda ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 yast\u0131\u011fa koyarken g\u00f6zlerin doldu. \u201cBen b\u00f6yle biri olmak istemiyorum\u201d dedin. \u201cAma neden yine b\u00f6yle oldu?\u201d Bu yaz\u0131 tam da bu i\u00e7 konu\u015fmay\u0131 yapan, vicdan\u0131 sesi bast\u0131ran her anne-baba i\u00e7in yaz\u0131ld\u0131. O Anlar Hi\u00e7 de [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":27,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-21","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-ebeveynlik-ipuclari","czr-hentry"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=21"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":28,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/21\/revisions\/28"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/27"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=21"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=21"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.psikologyusuferol.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=21"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}